Holiday harmony: Strategies to conquer stress and find joy

The cheery holiday season can have a dark flip side.

On one side, there is that holiday glow of family gatherings, love and happiness. On the other side, there can be stress, depression, anxiety. And very often you can feel both — holiday cheer and stress, depression or anxiety.

One poll by the American Psychological Association, found that 41 percent of those contacted had experienced increased stress levels during the holidays with financial concerns, shopping and missing loved ones most often mentioned as the causes.

The survey also found that while many people responded that they felt happy and were in high spirits over the holidays, they also experienced stress, irritability and sadness.

“The holidays can be a challenging time for many and can be a time of year that we take on more and have even less to give,” said Melissa Hedlund Nelson, PhD, Clinical Supervisor with Endeavor Health Linden Oaks Medical Group. “We can set unrealistic expectations for ourselves and when we fail to meet those expectations, we can internalize feelings of failure which can lead to depression and anxiety symptoms.”

To reduce holiday stress, depression and anxiety, try some of these tips:

1. Practice self-compassion. You do not have to be perfect, that is impossible. This can apply to all aspects of the holidays — whether it is chatting with people at an office party or holiday gift exchange. Recognize that no one expects perfection from you and simply enjoy the moment. Smile and chat with your co-worker instead of worrying if you are saying the right thing. Put up your favorite decorations and don’t worry if they aren’t perfect.
2. Recognize it is acceptable to say no. We can easily overbook and overspend during the holidays if we are not careful. Spend some time with your calendar and checkbook before the holiday season kicks into full gear and establish a game plan for your schedule and spending. Taking the time to plan — and setting some realistic goals — will help make the holidays more enjoyable and a bit less stressful.
3. Accept differences. Holidays can sometimes mean dysfunctional family time, and it is important to realize you can only manage your own thoughts and actions. “Setting healthy boundaries, being aware of your thoughts and feelings and leaving space for others is very important,” Hedlund Nelson said. Realize your own worth and know that accepting others does not open the door for them to hurt or harm you. If necessary, set boundaries on what you will or will not tolerate from relatives. If things become tense, have a plan — maybe it is excusing yourself and going for a walk, deep breathing or, if necessary, leaving early.
4. Allow some time for you. With a busy holiday schedule, it can be easy to let taking care of yourself take a back seat. Taking time to relax can be the best gift you give yourself to get through the holiday season with less stress. Getting enough rest, staying hydrated, exercising and eating healthy can help give you the energy you need for shopping trips, holiday parties or traveling and help keep stress at bay. Practicing gratitude also can help put you in a better mindset during the holidays. “Taking a moment at the beginning of the day or end of the day to identify one-three things you are grateful for can shift your mood and mindset as can volunteering during the holiday season,” Hedlund Nelson said.
5. Reach out. And that works both ways, whether you are the one dealing with depression or anxiety or if you notice someone who is. If you are struggling, it is okay to let people know you need help. If it becomes severe and you notice changes in your ability to function, talk to your primary care doctor or contact a counselor. Endeavor Health Linden Oaks Medical Group provides counselors that are available to talk and provide support. To schedule, call 847-HEALING. On the flip side, if you notice a friend or family member struggling, do not hesitate to talk to them about it.