Falling in love is a mysterious process that has fascinated mankind for centuries — just look at all the poems, books, and songs dedicated to the topic. While love is ultimately a profound emotional experience, it’s also a neurochemical one. Scientists can observe noticeable changes in the brain when a person falls in love. That begs the question — is love such a mystery after all?
“While the idea of love is usually a topic of conversation for poets and philosophers, what happens neurochemically when we fall in love has been studied for a few decades,” said Nicholas Mathenia, DO, a neurologist with Endeavor Health. “Neuroscientists have been studying what parts of the brain are activated and facilitate falling in love.”
Dr. Mathenia said that neurochemically, falling in love can be generally broken down into three stages.
“When you see someone you're attracted to, there's this initial period of lust — I wouldn't call that love just yet,” he said. “As that grows over time, chemical and hormonal changes build from that initial attraction into a mutual attachment and, finally, love.”
The brain uses three main chemicals throughout the process of falling in love: dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin.
- “Dopamine is an important neurochemical that’s part of the reward system in the brain,” said Dr. Mathenia. “When you see the person you're excited about, a dopamine release activates areas in the brain, which forms an attachment to that person.”
- The next neurochemical, oxytocin, is a hormone that alleviates stress and creates a feeling of safety with someone. “The activation of oxytocin along with dopamine helps us form a tight bond with a person,” said Dr. Mathenia.
- The final main neurochemical is vasopressin, a hormone that is expressed differently in men and women but has the same ultimate effect. Vasopressin plays a key role in helping people create a long-term, monogamous relationship.
“It's a complex dance between dopamine, vasopressin, and oxytocin,” said Dr. Mathenia. “Something happens in our brain that triggers this cascade of neurochemicals and strengthens that feeling and emotional connection.”
This neurochemical cascade actually rewires the brain. “It affects our personality and behavior to please our significant other and to maintain a relationship with them,” said Dr. Mathenia.
Even though there are measurable changes to the brain, these discoveries have not truly demystified the experience of falling in love.
“We still don't understand everything about attraction or love,” said Dr. Mathenia. “The brain's a spectacular and somewhat mysterious organ and we don't understand it all.”
